a REALLLLLLLY good day.

I got some really incredible news today and I just want to scream it from the roof tops. I'm SOOOOOOOO excited!!!! but alas it's not my news to share so I have to wait :(
oh well, the news alone is good enough to counteract the waiting. hell. it's good enough to pull me out of this funk of ppd that i've been in. Today was a great day :)

Meal Planning Mondays

well here's this weeks meals. going for easy and super easy. :)


Monday-  Hubby has a class so probably just throw together something for monkey and me
Tuesday- Chili Cheese dogs with fries
Wednesday- no taco night with family so I'll probably make my own here.
Thursday- BBQ Chicken Pizza
Friday- eat out
Saturday- Doing Christmas (gifts and dinner) with my mom since she's leaving us and going to spend Christmas with her mom and sisters in Canada :)
Sunday- Parmesan-Ranch Chicken with mashed potatoes and veggies

Building a House

       It takes hands to build a house, but only   hearts can build a home.  ~Author Unknown

secret mommyhood confession saturday **UPDATED**

I've been depressed lately. 
Like really depressed, can't sleep, not hungry, feel like I'm in a bubble, depressed.
Can you get postpartum 3 years after birth. It would probably be more like post-postpartum. Or perhaps it's prepartum? Wondering if there is such a thing as pregnancy depression. I'm sure there is, and will probably ask Dr Google about it after I get done vomiting all over this post.
It seems like there are so many things I want to talk about but when pen hits paper, or fingers to keys, nothing seems to come out. I can't write about anything. I have fun posts that I probably should have posted but I just don't. I tend to sit on my couch, wrapped in my blanky and stare off into the distance only to come back to reality to take care of Adam's basic needs then seem to blank back into that void.


Yesterday Hubby and I got into a fight. Not sure what started it but I do know that whatever it was, the fight wasn't what caused it. There has been a lack of communication around here lately, most of it I'm sure is my doing. It seems so much easier to shut down and not think/talk about these emotions. I see quiet a few people who are roughly as pregnant as me loving pregnant life. I don't really have that right now. I am excited to find out about baby's sex next week but am not really wanting to be pregnant for another 5 months. Not really looking forward to those first few months of no sleep, of not being able to communicate with my child. I've gotten so used to being able to talk to Adam. Of him being able to tell me what's wrong (mostly) and what seems to be the ease of a toddler. What's going to happen when that isn't there? Will I be able to deal with a screaming baby and a 3 year old that is so used to being the center of mommy's universe? How will he deal with sharing mommy? I think I am more scared this pregnancy than the last. You would think that it would be the other way around, perhaps that's why I feel guilty and tear up just thinking about it. Then I start to think about what that is doing to the baby growing inside of me and feel even more guilty. It's a never ending shame spiral.
 
I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, there are some half that are PPD survivors. When I first found these blogs months ago I didn't know why I felt so connected to them. I am wondering now if I feel this way because I'm reading about PPD and its ugly side effects all the time or if, for some reason, I finally realize I felt these things. In my mind these thoughts/feelings have only been there for "a few months" but in talking yesterday, Hubby seems to believe that they may have been going on for longer. I don't really know when it started but I am definitely ready for it to be over. Like they say, acceptance is the first step. Now to go about finding a way back to my happy place.




***** Updated part:  I was just coming back to add that I already feel a little lighter since posting this. I have tried writing about it in the past few weeks but never had the courage to hit publish. When we talked yesterday Hubby said maybe I needed to talk to someone about it. Of course he was right, (I think he meant a professional) but even just putting it out there helps. I am planning on talking to my doctor this week when we go in for the ultrasound. I know that I am not alone in my feelings and that there are people who understand how I'm feeling. Which totally helps. :) *******

Meal Planning Mondays

ok so did pretty well this week. hope to keep it going... so here's this weeks menu :)



Monday- Creamy chicken crescent rolls - didn't make last week
Tuesday- Steak with mashed potatoes and asparagus
Wednesday- Taco night with the family
Thursday- Frozen pizza night. (will have 3 nephews over. lol)
Friday- eat out
Saturday- Chicken Lettuce Wraps
Sunday-Cheese Ravioli with roasted red pepper alfredo

Meal Planning Mondays

Last week was a bit of an off week what with Thanksgiving and all. I didn't make half of what I wanted to do but we still only ate out (well, in-ordered pizza) once so that's good. Hopefully I can stick to this week's schedule. Decided to go back to the "classics" that I know my family loves instead of trying to experiment and getting weird faces from my husband.



Monday- "Nacho Bake" (ground turkey, nacho cheese, noodle and bell pepper casserole)
Tuesday- Jambalaya with kielbasa sausage
Wednesday- Taco Night with the fam
Thursday- Philly cheese steaks with onions and peppers
Friday- Parmesan-Ranch chicken with rice and veggies
Saturday- Bacon cheeseburgers and fries
Sunday- Creamy chicken crescent rolls

I wanna go to a party....

What happened to all the Christmas parties out there? Seems like I haven't seen a whole lot of parties in the last few years. Am wondering if people have stopped wanting to celebrate or if this too is a victim of the recession. I remember when I was little that my parents would get dressed up and go to like 3-4 parties in a Christmas season. We have no parties planned this year. Granted the hubby works in a place where they do potlucks, not parties and I don't work outside the home so that rules out the office party.
Seems to be in this day and age people are less prone to celebrate but come on. maybe we should take a lesson for our fore fathers and get dolled up and play with some fondue.

perhaps I just want to be a 50s housewife. But that's another post altogether. so I guess what i'm saying is come on people, have a party and make sure to invite me :)

secret mommyhood confession saturday

here's this weeks edition.

I'm not sure why I am feeling so blue today. this week has been a lot of fun but starting yesterday evening or so it seems as though a dark cloud as settled around me. I don't often talk about the sad, depressing stuff on my site. try to keep it light and happy but today I don't have it in me to write a puff piece. Maybe its because Monkeyface has been sick and has transferred that lovely bug to me. Maybe its the excess hormones floating around in my body. Maybe its just the way it is right now.

I confess that I often hold everything in. I don't like to burden others so I end up burying myself. Either by taking on too much or by not expressing myself. When I get into a funk I often try to cover it up or hid it from the ones I love. Why bring anyone else into this? So I shoulder yet another burden and I go on. That's what I do.

I realize now that I feel some what better after letting that out. so thanks for listening. tomorrow will be better :)

Meal Planning Mondays

Well, last week we kind of slipped off the wagon and we ate out. oh well, I think once in a 2 week period is pretty good. that plus I mixed up our days and kept changing around what we had. Pregnant woman prerogative. So lets see what this week has in store for us. Have a feeling as the holidays get closer things may be a little more difficult to stay on track. anywho.... its the thought that counts :)

Monday- Beef Stroganoff with Salad and bread
Tuesday- Fish, Shrimp and Chips. carried over from last week.
Wednesday- Taco night with Family
Thursday- Happy Thanksgiving :)
Friday- Turkey enchiladas with white sauce.  didn't do last week so planning on doing again. slightly modified for leftovers
Saturday- Pasta Gratin with Pesto and Veggies.
Sunday- Crock Pot Potato Chowder

secret mommyhood confession saturday

It's Saturday and time for my latest confession.....



I was thinking of something to share and decided to share another piece of my dorkiness with the internet world.

I love Harry Potter.

I figured this week is the best week for it since it's the beginning of the end :(
This past Thursday/Friday marked the release date for the first part of the last movie. While I will admit that I enjoyed the books more than the majority of the movies, I have seen all of the movies in the theater. Most of them at the midnight showing the Thursday before. Something about the magical world is very intriguing and I love all the characters.
This year I decided that I might be a little too old to go to the midnight showing so I am going this afternoon with my sister, bro in law, brother, sis in law, mom and my sis's mom in law. It's a big party and I'm super duper excited!!!

Meal Planning Mondays

This may actually be working!! We didn't eat out once for dinner this last week. even on our scheduled eat out day, i cooked!! woo hoo!!! saving money is good. :)


Monday- Steak with mashed potatoes and salad
Tuesday- Fiesta Chicken with black beans, corn and rice
Wednesday- Fish and Chips
Thursday- Humble Shepherd Pie
Friday- eat out
Saturday- Bacon Wrapped Chicken with broccoli and pasta shells
Sunday- Chicken Enchiladas with white sauce

secret mommyhood confession saturday

So a few of the blogs I follow are doing a secret mommy-hood confession thing on Saturday and I thought it would be fun to play along. See their confessions here...  http://www.makemommygosomethingsomething.com/   and   http://notsuperjustmom.blogspot.com/

They are some pretty funny ladies.... but anyway.. back to me :)


Today I would like to confess that I love a good sappy/cheesy romance novel. I know that I shouldn't, that there are so many better choices out there. And I will say that I do read other things like non-fiction and what not (you know- the non sleazy books) as well, but there's something about a good love story that makes me smile.
Yes, some do include S. E. X. but sometimes they are "classy" love stories. (If there is such a thing...). I think deep down I just like to know that love can conquer all. Good vs. Evil. All that happy feel good stuff. I know I should be ashamed but you know what, I'm not. LOL.
There are thousands of you out there that make this a billion dollar industry so I know I'm not alone. Especially since I don't actually buy these books. That's what the library is for. And my girlfriends/mom/sis in law. :)
So there it is... *deep breath of relief*  I am a romance novel reader.

Is there anything you'd like to confess???!?!?

Pregnancy Brain

There actually is a "thing" called pregnancy brain, I swear, I didn't make it up. Apparently as you gestate your brain swells and you end up retarded. Ok maybe retarded is a little harsh, but really it does suck.
You can't remember anything, there are times when I'll be in the middle of doing something and I TOTALLY FORGET WHAT I'M DOING!!!!!!How is that even possible?!? Seriously though, the other day I was making some coffee (decaf, I promise) and I forget to put the damn coffee grounds in the machine. Yup, I made super hot water. The hubs will mention something or ask me to do/get something when I'm out on my travels for the day and when I get home? nope, nada, nothing. Poor guy is starting to thinking I just don't love him.

Not only does pregnancy brain make you stupid, it also makes you want things you normally don't. I can't tell you the amount of pickles I've eaten in the last month. (working on my 3rd jar now) and while I love a good pickle every now and again, I find my self daydreaming about these damn things. But so far I haven't found anything that I find totally disgusting, lucky? maybe, I'll let my final weight gain be the judge.

It could just be that time has faded since the first pregnancy so its possible I don't remember wanting pickles for breakfast or being this dumb so soon. I am just hoping that these will be the "worst" of it and I don't grow another head or something. Only 25 weeks to go.....

Meal Planning Mondays

So here's this weeks food :)

Monday- Crab Cakes with rice and steamed veggies
Tuesday- Steak Fajitas
Wednesday- taco night with family
Thursday- Buffalo Chicken salad
Friday- dine out
Saturday- Pulled Pork Sammies with fries
Sunday- Chicken Crescent Roll Casserole

28 Things

I can't believe that I am 28 today. It seems like such a big number. How did I get to this age already. 10 years ago I was a senior in high school. 10 years!!!! How can that be? To me it seems like it was just a few years ago, like I just turned 21. I still feel like I should be 24-25 not 28. Woo-zers! It seems like I should have it together more by this age but I am incredibly lucky and grateful for everything in my life.  Past, Present and Future. So to point out a few things that I am especially grateful for today. (Idea stolen borrowed from my SIL). let me just say that it's pretty difficult to come up with 28 things you love/are grateful for; some are silly, some are serious but all are mine :) so without further ado,  here it is, my 28 things.




1. Jeff- Even though he drives me nuts sometimes I couldn't imagine my life without him. He helps center me in the craziness that is our lives. He makes me laugh, he knows how to piss me off, he loves me.

2. My crazy, lovable, silly, strong willed, amazing, generous, stubborn son. You changed my life in so many ways. I love watching you grow and develop and become your own person. You have such an amazing personality. I can't wait to see what a great young man you'll become.

3. The baby that is growing inside of me. I love you already and we've never met. I have such big hopes and dreams for you. I hope that you will love us as we love you.

4. My Mom and Dad. They have guided my way into this world from the beginning. With love and kindness and discipline they have taught me all I need to know on how to be a decent kind human being. They have watched me fail, watched me when I did bad things and they have loved me anyway.

5. The rest of amazing family. I love every single one of you in all of your craziness :)

6. All the friends who are always willing to brighten my day with a laugh or to listen to me vent. Some days I'm not sure I would make it without you all

7. Being at Stay at home mommy. I have gotten to see all of my son's major milestones. From His first word, to his first step, to starting to potty train. I feel so lucky to get to cuddle with him in the mornings and watch him play in the afternoons. It's been the best time in my life and the hardest. hehehe


8. I am very grateful that my husband is willing to work so hard so that I am able to stay at home. If he didn't then I would have missed out on all of the above I'm sure. I love that he is willing to do whatever it takes to take care of his family. With very little complaining :)

9. Tivo/DVR. I know this one is silly but really, who doesn't love Tivo?!?! Only those that have never used it. Once you try it you never go back. I love the freedom it gives you to be able to watch every episode of your favorite show without having to stay home every night. I love that you can pause when your son comes up to you in the middle of your show. That you can rewind when you realize you didn't pause and missed something while talking to your son :)

10. The internet. I love being able to connect with old friends and family members that I would otherwise not talk to as often. I love Facebook with its ability to see into the everyday lives of my friends and family.

11. Blogs. It's true. I've become addicted to blogging. It's an amazing tool to express your feelings or frustrations. Not only that be their is a community of other mommies out there that are going through the same things, feeling the same feelings. When you spend most of your time with a 2 1/2 year old its nice to be able to log onto one of your favorite blogs and connect with someone.

12. Fall in Idaho. I love it in Idaho. It's so beautiful here. You can drive an hour out of Boise and see some of the most beautiful country there is. There's camping and fishing and hiking. Fall is especially wonderful as all the trees in the city turn such beautiful colors.

13. I am grateful that my family is so close. That we are able to see each other at least once a week. It makes me happy to hang out with them and to know if I need them they are only minutes away.

14. Coffee. Although I am only able to drink decaf at the moment, it still is one o the greatest drinks around. I love the smell, the taste and the way you can add different flavors and have a totally different drink.

15. I love that I live in a country as great as America. With all it's flaws it's still an amazing place. We have so much to be thankful for as a whole even though we sometime over look everything that we have. I love that I don't have to worry that the government might break into my house and kidnap my husband. I love the security and safety that people work so hard at protecting. From the Soldiers to the Senators. At the core they work to protect this way of life.

16. Traveling could be one of my favorite things. I've always loved flying. Looking back at all the places I been and the things I got to witness, I am thankful for the stamps in my passport. I have had some amazing adventures and even though I haven't really gone anywhere lately I can always go back in my mind. I know one day I will get to travel again.

17. Going to the Library is another of my favorite things. I love that there is a place where you can go with thousands of books and take them home to read. I love entering into a writer's world. Being taken to another time, another world while sitting on my comfy couch is one of life's greatest pleasures.

18. I am thankful for my iphone/ipod. I know this one is a little out there but I love being able to play the games on it. I could probably play 50 games of solitaire a day. There's something so relaxing about staring at that little screen.

19. Really for all electronics. I'm not sure if I could live in the times of no phones, cars, dishwashers, computers, tvs, microwaves, fridges, etc. I am very thankful that I have all of these so that my days at home are that much easier.  I could imagine having to go out and milk a cow or churn my own butter.

20. I love that my son has a huge backyard to run around in.

21. Thrift stores are another thing that I wouldn't want to be without. I love getting a bargain. Things now a days are prices so that big businesses can make the most profit. There are so many things that we don't need but we buy and end up giving away. I love being able to go through all the racks and bins looking for things that I could use and then getting them for fractions of the price if the were "new".


22. PBS. I love watching my son dance around the room, singing and imitating their great kids programs. I honestly think he is as smart as is he because of these shows. Ok, so obviously he's a genius to begin with but I really think that the PBS kids program is amazing. It's so much better than the other crap cartoons out there. He is thoroughly entertained but he is also learning his alphabet and how to count and so much more.

23. My family's health. My son has never had anything more than a cold. He's never needed antibiotics. Never had a cast or stitches. I realize these things will happen eventually and I'm hoping I wouldn't freak out too much when the do but to go 2 1/2 almost 3 years without these things is amazing. My husband is relatively healthy, I am healthy. I am thankful that we, and our parents/siblings have no major illnesses.

24. Our car. Although I am ready for something new and bigger, I am grateful that we have a car that is pretty reliable. Besides needing new tires, doesn't require a ton of work or maintenance. We have had some pretty great trips and fun times in that car. I will be sad to see it go when the time comes.

25. Opi. She brighten our lives and made us a family before their were kids. We will never forget what an important part she played in our lives and I can only hope that we did right by her. I hope she felt our love always and that she has a new bone everyday in heaven. We may get a new dog one day but I don't think she'll ever be able to be replaced.

26. I am grateful for the medical breakthroughs that happen everyday in every field. It is my hope that one day we will rid the world of the senseless death caused by cancer or AIDS. There is so much out there that we still don't know. I strongly believe that it will be through science that we make this world better.

27. Elections. Today is also election day. I am grateful that we live in a country that allows us to speak up and vote and change things if we feel they are not acting in our best interest. I feel proud and thankful that our four fathers gave us this right.

28. The last one.... I am grateful to all of you that take the time to read my words. Some days its not very exciting but I try to post things that are relevant to me and that mean something. So THANK YOU :)



(Side note... this was actually typed up yesterday but for some reason never posted.)

Meal Planning Mondays

I'm going to try my hand at actually planning a weekly menu. I think this will cut down on the last minute, "ugh, what am I going to make?......... maybe I should just go pick something up" rut that we've gotten into. Not only is it getting expensive but it's not always the healthiest food in the world. Plus I think I have must of the stuff needed this week already so one less trip to the grocery store.

So here goes. Wish me luck on actually sticking to the menu :)


MONDAY - White Chili with Ground Turkey
TUESDAY -  BBQ Chicken Pizza and Boneless Buffalo Wings 
WEDNESDAY - Taco Night with family
THURSDAY- Hamburger Pie (meatloaf w/mashed potatoes and cheese on top) and Green Beans
FRIDAY -  Curry Chicken Salad Sandwiches and Sweet Potato Fries, (stolen from another blogger but sounds delish) 
SATURDAY - Beef Stroganoff with French Bread and Garden Salad
SUNDAY - Halloween so probably eat out or something quick and easy

McFatty Mondays

hey y'all

I did weigh myself today but seeing as I'm going to be gaining weight from here on out I figured that I should put McFatty Mondays on the back burner. 
Will have to think of something else to do on Mondays.
But I didn't want to just leave you hanging so I found an awesome article on how to establish healthy eating habits for life. link below

http://www.mypyramid.gov/preschoolers/healthyhabits/index.html

Thankful Thursdays

This week I became an aunt for the 8th time. Grant Logan Thompson arrived 10/10/10 (coolest birthday EVER) a perfect little boy, weighing 7lbs 8oz and just the cutest thing alive.

I've forgotten what it's like to hold something that small, that precious. I probably could have sat and held him for hours. He is such a cutie and I look forward to watching him grow.

Today I am grateful for my sister in law who endured more than most women could handle. I am grateful that this little man finally arrived, healthy and happy. I am grateful I have such a great family.
Welcome to the world Grant!!!

growth, or something like it

Lately Monkeyface has been pretty hard to get to sleep. At bedtime, at naptime, at any time really.

He was doing really really well after we first moved. He stopped taking naps and seemed to be a on good sleep schedule. Not so much anymore. The last week or so he's been whiny, clingy and I hate to admit a pain in the arse. He wakes up and immediately wants to cuddle, and while I do love some morning cuddle time I would like to have a moment. He whines for juice, for lunch (apparently all food is now lunch btw, no mater what time of day it is). He whines if he doesn't get to watch Mickey Mouse or Special Agent Oso, he whines if you move his toy in the wrong direction.
 Whine Whine Whine!!!!!

SO.... he's been taking naps again. 2-3 hour naps. plus sleeping his regular 10-12 hours. Am starting to wonder if he's sick or if its just a growth spurt. Normally he doesn't get this affected by growing but MAN! it's pretty bad. Am hoping that it will end soon. PLEASE, LET IT END SOON!!!!!

Thankful Thursdays

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and quite a few do some sort of post relating to thankfulness/gratefulness. I decided that you can never be too grateful and that I should to do this to remind myself how lucky I really am.

 
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Today I am thankful that it's not raining.... with 4 boys in my house
I am thankful that I can send them out to play and not lose my sanity.
I am thankful that I have a big yard for them to play in.
I am thankful that I do not have 4 boys of my own.
I am thankful that my one is kind, and polite and sweet. (most of the time).



I am grateful for afternoon snacks on a picnic table in the shade.
I am grateful for cartoons that act like crack and keep them quiet for more than a minute.
I am grateful for the chocolate to soothe frazzled nerves like a tranquilizer.



I am most thankful that I only have one hour left until they get to go elsewhere home.

is it halloween yet?

So a few weeks ago I saw a sale on Buzz Lightyear costumes online so of course I had to get for Monkeyface.

 Can I just say he is so stinkin cute in this thing. I couldn't get enough of him. Running around, shooting his arm laser at everything. Was so happy that I already had his costume figured out and wouldn't have to pay and arm and a leg for it.

I mean look at that smile :)
Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Major momma points here.





but then.......



we were at the store with my mom when I made the mistake of pointing out the Ironman costumes.

yes, my 2 1/2 year old LOVES Ironman.  Not that I can blame him because I <3 it also but come on.... a 2 year old. probably not going to win momma point on that one.....

but anyhow....

long story short.... he got that costume also...

so now we get to fight calmly discuss which costume will be worn come Oct 31st

everyone is reproducing

Seems like lately everyone is pregnant or just had a baby. Last week two more friends announced buns in the oven. My sister in law is due in a few weeks and my brother/sister in law are talking about trying for another one in the next few months. I am left wondering, is it selfish of me to not want another one?

I feel like I've struck gold with Monkeyface. He is the greatest kid ever. I know every momma thinks their offspring are the best and brightest, but I truly feel this way about my son. How would I ever be able to love someone as much as I love him? I know it can be done. I am from a family of 3 kids and I know my parents love us all. But for different reasons and on some level in my heart brain, I think different degrees of love.  Does my dad love me the same way/amount as my brother? I think not. Is that a bad thing. By no means, but I'm wondering if the love they have for my brother and sister was diminished any when I came around.

I don't think I could love anyone like I love my son. I don't think I want to try. Does that make me a bad person. Maybe. But you know what? I'm ok with that. Just as I'm ok with everyone else reproducing (ok-most everyone else). That's the great thing with living in a society of free will and independence. You get to decide what is right for you. So for now I will be happy to play with nephews and the one niece I have thus far, oh and my Monkeyface. Hopefully in the future he won't ask for a brother or sister to play with. I just don't see that in the cards for you little man.

McFatty Mondays

Here it goes... week 2.... official weigh in is 196.


I lost a pound. Not much in the grand scheme of things but giving that I didn't really do anything to lose weight I'm happy. I didn't exercise at all this week. BLAH, i hate it when i don't exercise. But i did watch what i was eating to an extent. There were days when i think i barely ate 1500 calories but then others when it seemed like all i did was eat.

looking back at the week i must say that over all being one pound less than i was last week is a good thing.

Fall is my favorite.

Today was a great day.

Big Daddy went out tonight for a little man time, so Monkeyface and I got to hang out just the two of us.        

For our big date we made dinner, I know, right, we're party animals.

But it was a hour or so with no tv, no toys (a.k.a toys fighting each other), no one but me and my little man.

He climbed up on one of the barstools and sat and "talked" with me while I cooked our mac and cheese and tossed a salad.
Told ya we were party animals :)

He asked politely for some croutons and wanted to help stir the cheese into the mac.

We giggled and smiled.

He marveled at the sound of an airplane overhead through the open windows. We said "goodbye plane" after it pasted.

Today was a great day.

Do you ever wonder how you got to where you are?

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. Goals. Dreams. Where I see us in 5, 10, 15, 50 years. I am wondering about the next step. I have a goal and I can see what I want to do with myself once Monkeyface gets older and is in school. What I can't seem to see is myself completing the necessary steps/schooling to get to that point. I am enrolled in an online college for medical billing. Seems like a good path and something that I would enjoy. What I can't seem to find is the desire to log on and do the work. When I enrolled my dad made sure that it was something I would like and follow through with vs. going to classes in town everyday. While I love being a SATM, I think that it might have been better to go to an actual class setting. I need to find a chunk of time to set aside each week to devote to doing the work. This is the FUTURE we're talking about....

As I ponder my future, I can't help but think of the path I've already walked. How did I get to be a 27 almost 28 year old mommy? What choices did I make that guided me, that changed the road completely. Would it have ended up the same way if those paths hadn't gone the directions they did?

There are times when I feels restless and a little unfulfilled but as I sit here and write this I hear my son playing in the background. He's using his imagination more and more lately. How can I not feel so full of love and fulfillment when I see him playing and growing and becoming such a little man.

McFatty Mondays

ok.. so here goes.... my first McFatty Monday weigh is..... (drum roll please.......)


197.0!!

YAY!! that's the lowest its been in years!!

Granted I haven't eaten in roughly 24 hours due to strep-like symptoms but whatever. I'll take it.

It's going down and that's all I really care about. I'm getting back into the swing of exercising and eating properly so here's to it staying on the downward path :)

Happy Monday to you all :)

McFatty Mondays

So i realize it's not Monday but I have been following a few blogs that participate in the McFatty Mondays so I've decided to join in on the fun.





I'm not one that believes that the number on a scale determines your beauty - and this is NOT about fitting into some "norm" thrust upon us women by a society that has cut off their nose despite their face. This is about ME being happy with ME. If you feel the same way - I would love for you to join the fun! Feel free to simply comment on my posts - or if you feel so inclined, add a link to your McFatty Monday posts! We can go through this together!

An interesting journey is sure to follow... Starting Monday, September 20th 2010 - I will post an update, and HOPEFULLY a picture ::cringe:: cataloging my progress ::crosses both sets of fingers:: every Monday until my goal is reached, and maybe beyond. So, join me in my latest adventure! I need all the support I can get!!! I have never tried to exercise or lose weight in my life and I am guessing that this will turn into a lesson in self control, perseverance, and hopefully a time to get to know myself a little bit better. Here's to coming out the other side a little wiser, and a lot healthier!

* Note: McFatty Monday is the brainchild of Blair at Heir to Blair - Must give credit where credit is due! THANK YOU Blair for sharing this wonderful idea with all of us and for so graciously allowing me to spin off of your idea with my own blog hop... This gives us all the support we need to struggle through the dieting ups and downs - and also a great group of people to share our successes with!

house hunting

Can I just say, I hate making decisions. I can never decide what's for dinner, I can never decide what we're doing today. I feel like I'm always making decisions, Big Daddy never EVER makes decisions.... He always says, "It's your world my love, you decide" UGH!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! I have to decide everything. I gets very annoying not to mention completely frustrating.

So..... we are moving. Yep, can you tell where this post is headed...? You guessed it. I get to decide on our new house.
First off, let me start with the 3 contenders. House 1 - Brogan. House 2 - Preece. House 3 - Morris Hill.

Brogan is a brand new townhouse. 2 Bed 2 Bath. Very nice upgrades. Appliances included(also washer/dryer). only utilities we are responsible for are gas and power. Brogan has a pool and a club house but not so much in the yard department. As in the only grass is along the walkways. Is kind of on the edge of town so a little inconvenient. Assigned Parking with possibility of garage at later point. Mid-point in budget Pretty good overall. Grade is A-

Morris Hill is also a townhouse. 2 bed 2 bath. Probably 5-10 years old. Most appliances included (also washer/dryer), only thing missing is microwave. Would have to pay gas, water, power. No yard either. no club house. Close proximity to Jeff's work but in a neighborhood that is a bit run down. Assigned parking. Decent overall. Low end of budget Grade B

Preece is a single family home. 3 bed 2 bath. Approximately 15 years old. most appliances included. missing washer/dryer. It has a pretty good size yard with a swing set, shed and garden area. Has 2 car garage. Within walking distance to Jeff's work. high end/a little over budget. Pretty good overall. Grade is A



If you couldn't tell I was leaning towards Preece, Big Daddy on the other hand was leaning towards Brogan. Turns out that they have another party interested in Preece and they are just waiting on a deposit from them. Ok.. so no brainer. Let's go with Brogan. I tell them we'll take it and put some earnest money down to hold the property on Friday. Tuesday afternoon the Preece people call... good news, Preece is available if you want it. YAY!! I do want it. REAAAALLLY badly. Great!! what to do? take Preece which my husband thinks is over our budget and not in our best interest but i LOVE LOVE LOVE or go with the smaller somewhat more affordable townhouse. of course he says "whatever you decide is where I'm living"

U
G
H
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I can barely make a decision on whats for dinner. what do I do when it comes to where we will be living.?!?!?!? I have been tossing and turning for 2 days trying to figure out what we are to do. I just don't know. What if we take Preece and something happens and we're over extended? what if we take Brogan and its too small? There's just so many unknowns!! so I put it out to the blogosphere..... Which one would you take. Brogan or Preece?

Climb to conquer

For those who don't know Sister and I will be doing Climb to Conquer Cancer.
The event is at Table Rock, which for those who don't know is in the Boise "foothills" and I say "foothills" because they are not really hills at all but when you are surrounded by Rocky Mountains they look tiny. It's a pretty steep climb and I haven't been up there in years. Like literally 10+ years. I think the last time I was up there was in high school, and we might have driven....
YIKES.. oh well. It's for a great cause and what not. PLUS, you get free pancakes afterward. So how hard could it be?!?!?!

anywho... if you'd like to help the cause, feel free to use this link and donate some $$


http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/CommunityFundraisingPages/CTCGreatWestDivision?px=14093320&pg=personal&fr_id=26151

photos from canada

For those of you who don't have the Facebook, there are links to the right that will show you my pics.
thanks
ali

ramblings on motivation

Lack of motivation has settled in. I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks, granted was out of country for one of those weeks, but have been back for a week now and still nothing. Luckily I haven't gained any weight in those 2 weeks but I haven't lost any either. My husband is starting to get a little annoyed at my constant scale jumping -every time I go into the bathroom I have to check. I realize it's unhealthy and a stupid obsession but I always do it. Even when I know it's stupid and unhealthy I still jump on the scale. Tell me I'm not the only one?!?! Please?!?!
At least lately I haven't been too down on myself about the changes on the scale. I think I'm doing pretty well considering I haven't been to the gym and my eating habits are reverting. I realized that I am enabling my lack of motivation. I am making excuses. I have lost 25 pounds. This is great. I know that. I really do, but...
But it's a lot more fun eating what you want. I really do enjoy the classes I take at the Y and shockingly I miss them. *GASP*
I don't know why I haven't been going. *MOTIVATION LACKING*

And on top of that we will be moving soon. Not sure where to yet but we will be. Hopefully. Maybe. I have found a few places that I like and could see my family in but I wasn't the smartest, most carefully teenager when it came to finances. Yep, I know, if only I knew then what I know now...
So perhaps the next few weeks will bring motivation on many levels. I suppose you'll just have to say tuned.

goodbye 200's

this post was a bit delayed by sadness and the craziness of getting ready to journey with monkeyface across the border to the north BUT......

I WEIGH LESS THAN 200 POUNDS!!!!!!!!

that's right. I stepped on the scale before leaving Boise and it read 199.6!!!! Granted it's not a lot under but there was no 2 in the beginning of my weight anymore. I crossed over that number during pregnancy, oh about 3 years ago. :( I know, I know... 3 years!! my son's entire life...It floors me to think that I was that heavy for 3 years...

now that my waist band is shrinking i find myself wondering why it took me so long to do something about this number. I find myself slightly embarrassed when telling people that I was over 200 for so long. It amazes me that I was so complacent. The thought passes quickly though as I am EXTREMELY ecstatic to be under and would like to shout it from the roof top. I guess that putting it out on the internet is today's equivalent. It's possible that with the stress and vacation mindset, when I journey back home and get on the scale it might go over that number again. But I got a glimpse of that number and that was more motivation that anything thus far. I will keep working until I am well under that number. I ain't never going back!

Wondering

I had planned on posting more often than what it turns out I am actually doing. There are times when I think oh, that would make a fun post. Or when I think that I should sign on and say something. I even started to write about my Grandpa who passed away 2 days ago but ended having to do something else. I found it extremely hard to say everything that I wanted to say about grandma. So far we, my bro and sis and I, have been lucky in that we haven't lost a grandparent/parent/sibling/etc. Death has touch us but it seems to me that was in a more of a peripheral sense. A family member of a spouse, a friend/family member of a friend. People we knew and respected but maybe not loved or knew beyond a loved one. I doubt that it has hit me that he is gone, although we did have some time to cope with the idea before he passed. I hadn't spent much time with him in the past few years as life as a way of passing us by when we're not looking, but he was the grandparent that lived closest and therefore saw more often. I am wondering what life will be like with one less grandparent. There have been times, ,family gatherings and things in the last few years where he should have been there and was missing for one reason or another. Will that make it easier to deal with his absence in the coming years, or harder? How will knowing that he wasn't there when he could have been affect memories of those events? Did he deliberately choose to stay away or were there outside factors that caused his absence? Unanswered questions. I am left wondering if these questions change the memories of those events or if they change memories of past times together. I'd like to think that an offense I might feel occurred was unintentional. I choose to believe that if he could have been there he would have. He was a good man and a wonderful grandpa. He will be missed. RIP Gordie Hone 1924-2010

Giving it a try...

Hey there people out in internet-land, my name is Alison and I've decided to start a blog. Why you ask? Well, I've become obsessed with a few blogs (and my that I mean I check them at least once a day) and I figured maybe I could just obsess about my own instead. I am a stay at home mom to one little Monkeyface and wife to Big Daddy (henceforth referred to as such in my postings). I'm trying to study for degree, when time can be found between trying to lose my baby weight, (so what that he is 2 1/2 years old, I'll be the first to admit that I was lazy and unmotivated) watching my nephews, cleaning house, and any thing else that can distract me from my online classes. Facebook being the latest of distractions. I'll admit that I spend a bit too much time on the site, I am trying to cut back but for some reason my cursor always seems to navigate itself to there.
I am uncertain as to what my blog will be about, I'm assuming it will be a random hodgepodge of musings, rants, and antidotes. There will probably be pictures, oh who am I kidding, there WILL be pictures. LOTS of pictures. As for today's first post, I don't really have anything to share. If you have suggestions, comments or whatever please feel free to share.

Until I post again...