everyone is reproducing

Seems like lately everyone is pregnant or just had a baby. Last week two more friends announced buns in the oven. My sister in law is due in a few weeks and my brother/sister in law are talking about trying for another one in the next few months. I am left wondering, is it selfish of me to not want another one?

I feel like I've struck gold with Monkeyface. He is the greatest kid ever. I know every momma thinks their offspring are the best and brightest, but I truly feel this way about my son. How would I ever be able to love someone as much as I love him? I know it can be done. I am from a family of 3 kids and I know my parents love us all. But for different reasons and on some level in my heart brain, I think different degrees of love.  Does my dad love me the same way/amount as my brother? I think not. Is that a bad thing. By no means, but I'm wondering if the love they have for my brother and sister was diminished any when I came around.

I don't think I could love anyone like I love my son. I don't think I want to try. Does that make me a bad person. Maybe. But you know what? I'm ok with that. Just as I'm ok with everyone else reproducing (ok-most everyone else). That's the great thing with living in a society of free will and independence. You get to decide what is right for you. So for now I will be happy to play with nephews and the one niece I have thus far, oh and my Monkeyface. Hopefully in the future he won't ask for a brother or sister to play with. I just don't see that in the cards for you little man.

McFatty Mondays

Here it goes... week 2.... official weigh in is 196.


I lost a pound. Not much in the grand scheme of things but giving that I didn't really do anything to lose weight I'm happy. I didn't exercise at all this week. BLAH, i hate it when i don't exercise. But i did watch what i was eating to an extent. There were days when i think i barely ate 1500 calories but then others when it seemed like all i did was eat.

looking back at the week i must say that over all being one pound less than i was last week is a good thing.

Fall is my favorite.

Today was a great day.

Big Daddy went out tonight for a little man time, so Monkeyface and I got to hang out just the two of us.        

For our big date we made dinner, I know, right, we're party animals.

But it was a hour or so with no tv, no toys (a.k.a toys fighting each other), no one but me and my little man.

He climbed up on one of the barstools and sat and "talked" with me while I cooked our mac and cheese and tossed a salad.
Told ya we were party animals :)

He asked politely for some croutons and wanted to help stir the cheese into the mac.

We giggled and smiled.

He marveled at the sound of an airplane overhead through the open windows. We said "goodbye plane" after it pasted.

Today was a great day.

Do you ever wonder how you got to where you are?

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. Goals. Dreams. Where I see us in 5, 10, 15, 50 years. I am wondering about the next step. I have a goal and I can see what I want to do with myself once Monkeyface gets older and is in school. What I can't seem to see is myself completing the necessary steps/schooling to get to that point. I am enrolled in an online college for medical billing. Seems like a good path and something that I would enjoy. What I can't seem to find is the desire to log on and do the work. When I enrolled my dad made sure that it was something I would like and follow through with vs. going to classes in town everyday. While I love being a SATM, I think that it might have been better to go to an actual class setting. I need to find a chunk of time to set aside each week to devote to doing the work. This is the FUTURE we're talking about....

As I ponder my future, I can't help but think of the path I've already walked. How did I get to be a 27 almost 28 year old mommy? What choices did I make that guided me, that changed the road completely. Would it have ended up the same way if those paths hadn't gone the directions they did?

There are times when I feels restless and a little unfulfilled but as I sit here and write this I hear my son playing in the background. He's using his imagination more and more lately. How can I not feel so full of love and fulfillment when I see him playing and growing and becoming such a little man.

McFatty Mondays

ok.. so here goes.... my first McFatty Monday weigh is..... (drum roll please.......)


197.0!!

YAY!! that's the lowest its been in years!!

Granted I haven't eaten in roughly 24 hours due to strep-like symptoms but whatever. I'll take it.

It's going down and that's all I really care about. I'm getting back into the swing of exercising and eating properly so here's to it staying on the downward path :)

Happy Monday to you all :)

McFatty Mondays

So i realize it's not Monday but I have been following a few blogs that participate in the McFatty Mondays so I've decided to join in on the fun.





I'm not one that believes that the number on a scale determines your beauty - and this is NOT about fitting into some "norm" thrust upon us women by a society that has cut off their nose despite their face. This is about ME being happy with ME. If you feel the same way - I would love for you to join the fun! Feel free to simply comment on my posts - or if you feel so inclined, add a link to your McFatty Monday posts! We can go through this together!

An interesting journey is sure to follow... Starting Monday, September 20th 2010 - I will post an update, and HOPEFULLY a picture ::cringe:: cataloging my progress ::crosses both sets of fingers:: every Monday until my goal is reached, and maybe beyond. So, join me in my latest adventure! I need all the support I can get!!! I have never tried to exercise or lose weight in my life and I am guessing that this will turn into a lesson in self control, perseverance, and hopefully a time to get to know myself a little bit better. Here's to coming out the other side a little wiser, and a lot healthier!

* Note: McFatty Monday is the brainchild of Blair at Heir to Blair - Must give credit where credit is due! THANK YOU Blair for sharing this wonderful idea with all of us and for so graciously allowing me to spin off of your idea with my own blog hop... This gives us all the support we need to struggle through the dieting ups and downs - and also a great group of people to share our successes with!