....well, not really but sometimes it feels like it.
I choose not to breastfeed Jocelyn.
I know, scandalous, right? There is a great debate in this country on breast vs bottle and I'm sure every new mom wonders about her decision at some point. I actually am quiet happy with my decision. I think that it's a personal choice and it may differ from one mom to the next. With Adam I did try to breastfeed. That lasted all of about 3 days. My milk never came in. I couldn't pump enough to satisfy my little guy and so we went to formula. And loved it. It seemed so natural and right for us that I never second guessed or regretted that I couldn't breastfeed. So when I got pregnant again, naturally I decided that was what we'd do with the new baby. That is what worked for us, why chance it?
Throughout the course of my pregnancy and my time in the hospital after birth I have felt like formula feeding is a dirty little secret I should be hiding. They wrote on all my charts "bottle feeding" and asked me multiple times why I wouldn't/couldn't breastfeed. There's pamphlets in all the newborn kits about successful breastfeeding tips and even the free gifts from the formula companies have facts and tips about breast milk. On the top of my can of formula it says breast milk is best for babies.There are posters in every room in my doctor's office preaching "breast is best" with lists to support that claim. "Special bond between you and baby", "Formula feed babies tend to end up obese later in life", and my favorite "your baby's immune system will not be as good".
I say the last one is a favorite because Adam has been a picture of health his entire life. I can count on my fingers the number of times he's had a cold. He's never had anything worse than a fever and that was twice. In his 3 years of life he's never had an ear infection, never thrown up due to illness, never had any type of antibiotics. Obviously his immune system is stellar. I know plenty of breast feed babies that can't say that. Take my niece for example, she's just under 2 years old and poor thing seems to be sick all the time. My SIL breastfeed for just over a year. I don't think the mother's immune system has anything to do with it. Obviously I'm not a doctor and I'm sure there have been studies that can prove differently but I have living proof to back up that statement. I don't think you can determine a healthy child vs a sick child based on how they were feed as an infant.
Call me selfish but I like having the option to have someone else feed her. I love that her first meal was given to her by her daddy. I love that daddy can get up with her in the middle of the night if need be. I get so tired of feeling like I have to explain why I don't breastfeed. Like it's a lesser option. I feel that in the US nowadays if you don't breastfeed then you are looked as a bad mom. As if you failed at breastfeeding and had to resort to formula. I'm sure that had I tried again this time or even tried harder with Adam I would have been successful, but in my opinion I found formula to suit our family best. That's why it irks me to see "breast is best" everywhere. Sometimes its not. It's like saying vegetarian is best, or organic only. If it works for you then that's what's best. Doesn't mean it's best for everyone. It's hard enough figuring out how to be a mom, why would we want to make a person or group of people feel inferior? What does it matter what they are feeding their child as long as the child isn't going hungry? If we put half as much thought/worry into what older kids ate as we do breast vs. bottle perhaps we wouldn't have such a high number of obesity in school age kids. We need to come together as a community of new moms and support each others choices. Both sides have positives and negatives and it's up to the individual to chose what combination works best for them.
